The moment I learned about pregnancy, I cried a lot.
How much is crying?It is about 9 o’clock in the morning to 9 pm.
I was very clear that day was the weekend. I was within my plan (the second year of marriage). In addition, I had been working in a foreign company for 5 years.Although there is a monthly supply) … saying that this is not Versailles, but that even if I was pregnant, I was confident and controlled as a whole. At the moment I learned about pregnancy, I would only fall into it.cry.
The family around me asked me "Why?" I couldn’t say it.
The family saw that I was so miserable, so I comforted it, "If you don’t want this child, you can don’t need it."
I still cried. Until that night, I was walking in the community while calling a friend of me.Here is also a knowledge point called the ability to find support. It is not to say that the family is not good, but there are topics. There is always a friend with a distance, experienced and reasonable reason to accompany you from the perspective of watching.
This friend met the project in Zhangjiakou, Hebei in his early years. He was a cadre of the local women’s federation. He had a good gender consciousness and work attitude. Therefore, although it was not a colleague’s relationship, it was only a cooperative relationship, but we became the year -on -year friendship for many years.
I cried and told her "Teacher X, I’m pregnant …" (I have been calling her teacher over the years).
Her first sentence is: "Yo, are you panicked in such a big thing? This is too big!"
In this sentence, I felt that I came down from the stormy cliff, and my two feet stepped on the ground.I talked to her for a while, wiped my face, and went back to tell my family. Let’s start greeting a new life.
Two days ago, in a friend exchange, a female friend working in the university also shared similar experiences.
She said: In the public institution, except for the new students and graduation season every year, I will indeed take a while, and the overall work intensity is not great; and the female colleagues around me have early childbirth, and they are almost a second child.However, in the second year of work, she found that she cried first after she was pregnant.
I don’t know how many women have, and have experienced such experiences.
I don’t know how many women will have, and they have not experienced fertility at this moment, and will there be such experience in the future.
If you have experienced it, then please remember that you are not a minority, not a strange person from the rebellion, this is just a normal feeling.
It’s hard to say now, why did I cry so much after learning that I was pregnant?
Several of our friends tried to summarize that day, afraid of losing their jobs?Fear of being dissatisfied with the leadership?Or are you afraid that the future will not be promoted?It seems that it doesn’t seem to be.
A boy here suddenly felt that he was blessed to the soul. "I thought, you will cry because you are afraid of pain!"
A few of us glanced at him silently, "Young, you really don’t understand."
I think now that I learned that the panic after pregnancy should be a woman’s understanding and self -pursuit of the truth of the world. At that moment, it was exposed.
Gender bias never exists in a specific scene, such as family dog blood in the TV series, or the recruitment link in the workplace, but everywhere, a woman usually knows how the world treats her.
Two days ago, a female leader of a state -owned enterprise published a feeling of Women’s Day. From the praise of women, it said, "I tell the women around me, do not be a full -time wife because of inertia, and work hard.Go to you, you can’t cry to death. "
The girls of Peking University have age and have a career. Facing Teacher Ueno Chihezi, I expressed a sense of superiority that belongs to the coquettish wife. I marry a child in my life. As a woman, I have succeeded.
Seeing what women’s forums and successful women’s summits are often ended -constantly paying, work harder than men at work, tolerance than men in the family … Come on, do you do, be the most perfect woman!
The role of women from ancient times to the present has never improved.The role of the character is the expectation of a role in society, which is basically a normal person and cannot be done.
The truth is that even if a woman graduated from elementary school, she also knows the risk of doing full -time wives. This incident does not need to teach the majority of successful people at all. When she has to choose to be a full -time wife, society will say that she is inert.
The truth is that even if you get the highest degree and great career, if you do n’t have a marriage family, you still have to be asked again and again. Have you ever been injured by a man?
Then go to the workplace to give an example. Why does the fertility have a cliff -like impact on women’s profession?Because when you are going to have children, the colleagues and leaders and family members of you are not thinking about the moment of childbirth, but that your life is a mother role.However, when a woman declared in the job or colleague, she was not married, and was immediately suspected of "you have a problem with your personality."
Once I talked to a male doctor about this topic, I analyzed these issues. He said, "I think it’s a good sister, don’t complain about it, you have to tell young girls to work hard to be yourself."
I said: I didn’t complain, I was criticizing and criticism.
The other party was stunned for a long time, and then came a word, "The current woman is too strong."
If you see a structural problem dilemma and empower yourself, it is strong, then I have nothing to say.
So I now talk about how to empower myself.
First, cultivate the ability to negotiate, instead of hoping to find a husband who is as sweet as the male lead in the romance drama.
In these years, I have been invited to participate in various female salons in March to share topics such as family balance and pursuit of career.And every time the salon, guests and women always say very happy and happy, "My husband especially supports me." Very good, this is very happy.
However, leaving this salon scene, I think everyone knows what the world is.So do n’t want to find a sweet pet husband, but cultivate your own consultation ability -about family structure, lifestyle, pregnancy arrangement, pregnancy number, pregnancy, and childcare, you and your husband, parents and elderly people will negotiate.
Second, bear limited liability.
The Women’s Day praise to women is pretty polite.The most tired of my greasy is the praise of women’s Day to women. In this praise, women have separated from the category of people and become gods directly.If a woman is really confused by this kind of praise, it is to make her career and family candle burns on both ends of the candles, which is not sustainable.
I have dropped such a pit.As a mother, I used to worry about all soldiers.
I realized all the way that my mother had no unlimited responsibility for children.
He fights, has a cold, and his grades have declined. Please don’t ask me immediately, and don’t immediately recommend me a lot of strategies to make me more careful and pay more in the future.I only bear limited responsibility, so he can fight, catch a cold, and his grades have declined.
In other words, maybe a little rebellious.But behind me is my awe and love for life.
As a woman, I am limited to my husband and my parents.Let’s take another example. I have participated in a reading group. Every Saturday morning, everyone reads a book in the cafe.One of the women said that I couldn’t continue to participate, because every morning I had to give my husband to go out at noon, and I was too tired, and my husband was very angry.
Limited liability, this is called boundary sense.The essence of boundary sense is the awareness of ownership.
The above suggestions may be different from the traditional female moral image.
In my example, some men do n’t understand and do n’t understand. This is a pity, but it is understandable, and I also look forward to more men and unmarried women understand this.PESONAL is Polictical, the living environment of men and women is different, of course, there will be different perspectives, so to communicate.Discussing women’s problems is never for the opposition between the sexes, because everyone is trapped in the structural dilemma.