On April 15, the Liaoning police received an enthusiastic citizen alarm and found that a pair of mothers and daughters were suspected to invest in the sea. The police rushed to the sea for the first time to rescue the mother and daughter.
It was only because the cause of the incident was because the 10 -year -old daughter did not write homework during the Internet class during the epidemic at home. The mother could not discipline it. Then she pulled her daughter into the sea.
When the police asked why, the mother even said that she wanted to scare the child. The child was not obedient and let her remember it.
In fact, this similar contradiction occurs in many families during the isolation of the epidemic, but the way adults take are different.
Although the isolation period is slowly passing, the online class has not yet ended, and the isolation of an epidemic has made many families an outbreak of major contradictions. The couple’s eyes are against each other, and the family atmosphere is condensed.For a long time, there is nowhere to vent.
The online lesson is the biggest contradiction point, because in the comfortable environment of the family, the tools for class are mobile phones, computers, television and other electronic devices, which can easily make children’s attention from concentration.
Parents have to take on a close -range supervision work. For a long time, the child’s little disagreement and mistakes are easy to provoke the parents’ anger.
Many parents are talking on the Internet as if they are given to parents. The homework seems to be arranged for parents. Every night, the child sleeps comfortably every night. Parents dream of dreamed that the teacher dreamed of around the bedside.
In the face of this huge pressure, each parent’s choice is different. Some choose to resist the pressure of school with their children, and some hate iron and steel to try to make their children serious through various methods.
The parent in Liaoning chose this extreme method. As soon as the news came out, the parent also had half and half of the supporters and opponents.
But in my opinion, when the parent did this, he didn’t just want to scare the child, but to leave a shadow in the child’s heart, so that the child can remember the consequences of writing homework for a lifetime.In the shadow.
1. The child’s curiosity disappears
In our lives, some parents are actually scaring their children unknowingly. For example, don’t go out at eight in the evening, otherwise there will be monsters to catch children; you must spit seeds to eat watermelon, otherwise watermelon seeds will germinate in the stomach.Big watermelon breaks the stomach; don’t watch myths, the monsters in it will crawl out to eat children.
This kind of similar words start to say since the child will not leave, and there is no taboo, and most parents feel particularly effective after implementing it.Good things.
But if you do this, the child’s curiosity will slowly disappear. In the face of a fresh thing, the child first is afraid to threaten himself, so he is very confused to explore new things.
2. Children will become very fragile
Xiaomin’s daughter Coco is the age of seven or eight -year -old pigs who don’t love dogs. They should have been a very lively and naughty child, but Coco is particularly well -behaved and dare not even speak loudly.
Once someone came to be a guest, but accidentally put a piece of biscuits on the ground. At that time, the children were crying, and quickly picked it up and threw it into the trash can.In the black room, if I was afraid, the child’s reaction made Xiaomin embarrassed and helpless.
3. Children will gradually transform into a pleasant personality
Out of bad performance, they will be abandoned or kicked out by their parents, or if they do n’t study seriously like this mother in Liaoning, it is better to die. They will have a big shadow on children who are still in the period of personality.
The child’s personality will slowly become cowardly and timid, and repeatedly suppress the true thoughts of their hearts. In order to make the parents happy, the child will learn to please the parents’ joy, go to the desperate to vote for it.The interests and preferences that make children lose their independence and self -confidence and live their own life creeds. When they grow up, they will become more dependent on their parents. No matter what they do, they will urgently need their parents’ recognition.
Why do parents like this way of education?Is this really effective?The answer is not.
The way to scare the child and let the child obedient is a method of pseudo -advancement. On the surface, the child is developing in a good way. In fact, the child’s growth path is slowly narrowing, and the child’s personality is slowly depressed.This approach is harmful but no benefit.
And only if something happens and causes tragedy, some parents will regret and want to make up for it.
Is there only such an extreme way to make children become good?Is this the correct way to express love and expectation for children?
1. Restraint the temper
The reason why parents do this is that most of them can’t restrain their temper, or they are inherently irritable, and they often have excitement.
Faced with the child who did not follow the route he set, or violated his own bottom line, at this time, parents must calm down and take a deep breath. Tell yourself in your heart that you cannot be angry, do not be angry, do not show your horrible side to your childDon’t let your child away from themselves because of their impulse.
If you still use it, tell yourself that he is going to be born, he is born, not angry, and be patient.
2. Instead of thinking
Sometimes parents can’t understand some behaviors of their children. They think that children playing mobile phones are playing games, sleeping when sleeping, and not studying without serious writing.
In fact, this is all misunderstandings. At this time, parents try to think in another way. Standing from the perspective of their children to see the problem. Maybe the child paint on the wall is a superhero. Maybe the child is too tired to sleep and rest.
Looking at the problem from another angle, ideas and practices will be greatly different.
3. Open your heart to the child to come and come to the field to communicate
This is the first step for some parents who have realized their behavior that hurt their children.
At this time, the first step is to understand what the child’s heart is. You can imitate the communication meeting of parents and children in the "Little Happy", and to the mirror, everyone tells the inner thoughts.
It is best to speak first, and parents should not rush to refute the child’s thoughts. Even if it is a bit difficult to understand, the original intention of communication is to open the child’s heart knot, so please be patient listeners.
4. Respect the child in actual actions
Knowing the children’s true thoughts and aware of their improper behavior, can they take the important step of practical action?Will you understand the original committee before you lose your temper? Can you not want to do n’t want you anymore.
A lot of accompanying children, soothe the damage caused by the previous impulse, encourage children’s occasional curiosity and exploration mood, acquiesce in the rest of the child’s occasional tiredness, support the child’s urgent mood and hope of being independent of themselvesEssence
It may be difficult to be a rational parent at all times, but it is not difficult to be a parent who loves children. No parents do not love their children.
Put away your rough love to keep this thorny affection and love away from children who are still growing.
Give your child enough respect. If you love your children, don’t scare him with fear, and let him grow up healthily in a real love and safe environment.