I am 38 years old and daughter. After cooking my husband’s funeral, I found that I was pregnant. What should I do?

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From childhood to big, I have always been the object of praise and envy of people around me, saying that there are too many people who have good life.

I think so, I am grateful for fate!

I was born in an ordinary state -owned enterprise employee family. Thanks to the national family planning policy, even if it was born in a very serious town environment for men and women, my parents were not affected at all.It is their favorite princess.

Thanks to the thickness of the family’s excellent genes, although my parents look very ordinary, I completely absorbed their advantages: big eyes, double eyelids, long eyelashes, high nose bridge white skin melon seeds, I have been a beauty embryo since childhood!

I have been smart since I was a child. The homework is good. I have a good singing and speaking.There are countless prizes from childhood to large. I am the "child of others" in all population!

I have been admitted to a 985 university in the province with excellent results to learn my favorite Chinese language major.

I received too many blessings, and my parents have also become the enviable couples around everyone: stable work, couple loving, and good daughter.

After entering college, I met my love of this life -Shen Jiamu. He and I were different in the same school. He was a computer major.

He is a native of the provincial capital. He is the only child like me. His parents are university teachers!

Our campus romance has no resistance. Even the counselor said that I and Jiamu were born with a natural pair. I am lively, he is elegant;

Our three views are similar, the family environment is similar, and the pursuit of similarity is very harmonious. He said that he would not change when he recognized it. In this life, it was me, so before the winter vacation, Jiamu took me home and metparents.

I remember going to Jiamu’s house that day, and we were driving to pick up by Karmu. Dad Jiamu said: Hello Lin Fei, welcome to join our family!

At the age of 18, I suddenly became embarrassed and turned red instantly.

As soon as I entered the door of Jiamu’s house, I smelled the seductive meal. Jiamu’s mother came out of the kitchen and greeted me with a smile: Fifi is here, go to wash my hands, and immediately open the meal.

This is the first time I went to my in -laws’ house. My in -laws were naturally easy -going to me like my daughter went home. It made me a little nervous.

Since then, on weekends, on holidays, Jiamu often takes me home. My in -laws make me all kinds of delicious foods. Although I stay away from my parents to go to school, I was surrounded by the warmth of the family from time to time.Wide a carefree life.

Because my mother -in -law is a university teacher, the dressing aesthetics is good, simple and elegant, so many of my clothes I bought for me later.

When Jiamu and I were alone, I often joked me and said that I ate his family and wearing his family.

When I first met Jiamu, I told my parents that he was very enlightened. I felt that it was normal for university to fall in love, but I had to observe their character and pay attention to protecting myself.

Jiamu and I have a stable relationship with each other, and they have identified each other, so our relationship did not conceal the parents of both parties. Instead, they were blessed by the parents of both parties.

At the end of the freshman winter vacation, Jiamu went to my house to pick up me. My parents also liked Jiamu, and they were like their children.

We have met the parents of both parties, and they have been officially announced!

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At the beginning of my junior year, Jiamu and I started planning the future. In those years, when the Internet was booming, Jiamu’s professional basic undergraduate graduation could be employed, and his income was very good.

I want to stay in school as a teacher, and I have to graduate degree or above, so I decided to work hard to study hard.

Later, I succeeded in protecting the research, and my heart was much more practical. After graduating from Gradu, Jiamu entered the Internet factory, and the two discussed our wedding.

The wedding room Jiamu’s house was ready for a long time, and my family also bought a house for me to make a dowry in my name.

The wedding hotel with Jiamu and I are booked in the most luxurious scenic spots in the provincial capital. Relatives are arranged to live in the guest room. The beauty of the scenic spots is seen. When there is nothing in leisure, they take a walk in the scenic area, like a short vacation.

The relatives in Jiamu’s family also invited two little singers (the kind of singer who was not famous in the draft) at the wedding, which brought a lot of surprises to the wedding guests.

Everything is so perfect, I think I am bubbling happily!

After marriage, in order to let me go into school, Jiamu suggested that I will wait for my graduate to work and regenerate my children after graduation.

Both the in -laws and my parents had no opinion, and they also felt that we had to enjoy the two -person world while being young.

Later, the graduation ceremony of my graduate student ushered in two good news just after the end of the graduation ceremony: the appointment and pregnancy of the alma mater was really a good joy.

For so many years of marriage, I have almost never quarreled with Jiamu, and I have rarely mixed my mouth.We got along very well with the parents of both sides.

We have known each other since we were young. The two sides were consistent, and both parents were dedicated to paying for our small families.

I was pregnant for 5 years. The boss was a son. Later, he gave birth to the second child. The second child was three years younger than him. He was a daughter.Children are both, and a pair of children are also very smart and cute, and their lives are smooth.

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In recent years, due to the impact of the epidemic, Jiamu’s performance has also shrunk significantly. Jiamu technology is excellent. He has a good reputation in the industry. Last year he discussed with me and wanted to resign and start a business.

For so many years of marriage, no matter whether it is economical or mentally, I relied on Jiamu and trusted him with all my heart.

Jiamu is not an impulsive person. He said that he must start a business and have done a very mature plan, so he said that he started his business and I supported him to start a business.

Sure enough, for a year of starting a business, the company’s performance was flourishing, and the family income was qualitatively improved.

With the effort, Jiamu is busy than when he was at work: traveling on business, changing the plan, meeting, and a commonplace all night.

I often advise him not to be too tired, and money can’t be made.

Jiamu said he would pay more attention.

Opening a company is like opening an airplane. It is not possible to stop. The better the performance, the faster the work rhythm.

If the company wants to operate, the employees should pay the salary, and customers should deliver as soon as possible. These are invisible pushing hands, pushing Jiamu to keep going.

Jiamu worked overtime several times to go home in the early morning. He said that his heart was very uncomfortable. He fell asleep after getting his home and fell at home. It was really distressing.

I advise him to go to the hospital to check it out. Don’t drag, otherwise the minor illness will be dragged into a serious illness; Jiamu always said that it is okay, his body has a count, and the previous epidemic is not released. It is not convenient to go to the hospital.So I haven’t gone.

Jiamu told me that the situation in the past few years is good, the company’s performance is not worried. For a few years, when the age of 45, we have accumulated almost, so we retire early, accompany me at home, accompany me.

Both Jiamu and I like children. With the release of the national three -child policy, we have always planned to have another child.

Therefore, after the epidemic was released, we did not take measures. By the way, we were waiting for the angel to report. But for more than two months, there was no movement in my stomach. It is estimated that I am not young and not so easy to conceive.

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Everything is very beautiful, the epidemic has been released, and people’s lives have gradually restored the previous rhythm, a happy weather everywhere!

The accident happened!

Jiamu came back on a business trip and felt very tired and uncomfortable. He said that he went back to the room and lay down.

Dinner was fine. I went to call Jiamu to eat, but he didn’t have any movement at all. I thought he was asleep, so he walked over and shook him, only to find that something was wrong.

I hit 120!

Fear attacked me at that moment. My heart was sinking into the bottomless black hole. My legs could not support my body, and my hands were shaking to dial my phone number.

God did not care for me. On the ambulance, the doctor said that Jiamu’s pupils had been enlarged. When he arrived at the hospital, he entered the ICU, and everything was unable to return to heaven.

Jiamu left me forever.

My heart was cracked, but I couldn’t cry; my in -laws were hurt by the pain of being lost. They were really white. When they were sad, they came to comfort me.

I silently do what I should do, everything goes according to the procedure, so I will do whatever I do, like a line puppet.

After Jiamu’s funeral was completed, I seemed to be pulled away the meridians and bones of my body, and became void. I lay in the room for three days, couldn’t eat, and couldn’t sleep.

Jiamu’s breath and taste are still there, but where did my Jiamu go?I can no longer touch him, I can’t see him, I can’t hear him. He disappeared from my world and couldn’t come back again!

Thinking of it here, I can’t wait for me to go with him, so that I will not be so heartache, but the two children outside the room are playing noisy (they do not know what Dad’s departure means to them), but reminded me, I am, I am, I am, I am, I am reminding me that I am reminding me that I am reminding me that I am reminding me.Can’t go, I still have two young children.

I was tearing, contradictory, and involved!

The family was really uneasy and sent me to the hospital, but the result of the inspection was–

I am pregnant!

This child comes too much. My first reaction is that I want to kill her/him. I can’t let her/he have no dad as soon as she is born. I can’t enjoy my father’s love. This is unfair to her!

From a young age, how much cold eyes and ridiculous, how much helplessness and tears of swallowing, do she have enough ability to cover these damage for him/her, covering the wind and rain for him?

Both parents asked me to consider themselves, and they still support me.

With such a major decision, how can I do it alone?I often think that if Jiamu is still there.

However, if Jiamu is still there, there will be no problem.

It is a strange circle of dead cycle!

Until one day, I saw a paragraph written by a mother to my daughter and touched me completely. This mother had cancer, and her daughter was only 5 years old. How reluctant she was.She understood that she couldn’t grow up with her daughter, but she would always grow up with her daughter. She said:

"If one day I leave, it doesn’t matter. In thousands of lifetime, I will continue to be your friends, make your food, make the grass on the roadside, and make the wind on your face … WeReunion, I have never left you. "

At that moment, I opened my atrium like endless power. I cried and completely released the emotions of the emotions that Jiamu left in my heart.

Jiamu was not leaving, he changed his side with us, the sun was him, the air was him; the breeze was him, the drizzle was him; the flower fragrance was him, the green grass was him; the green grass was him;

Everything is him.

At that moment, I made a decision!

This angel is looking forward to Jiamu and I and I have the crystallization of Jiamu Ai. Although Jiamu is gone, he will always be with us.

I decided to give birth to this little angel and raise him/her healthy, happy and happy.

This must be what Jiamu is willing to see!

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