"Holding Hold": Is it the turn to start to remember?| Beijing Literature

"Beijing Literature" was founded in 1950. It is hosted by the Beijing Literature and Art Circle Federation and hosted by the Beijing Literature Journal Center.Large -scale comprehensive literature magazine."Beijing Literature" currently has two magazines. The original version of "Beijing Literature" (Wonderful Reading) published short -term novels, reporting literature, prose essays, poetry and literary reviews.Focus on good -looking novels, focus on reporting literature, push young poetry, pursue a sense of freshness, reality, popularity and readability.The selected version of the "Beijing Literature · Mid -Big Novels Monthly News" first selected excellent novels published by national literature journals, picked thousands of books and periodical essences, and created an exclusive selection of weather.The first editor -in -chief of "Beijing Literature" is Mr. Lao She.

"Beijing Literature" No. 6 cover.

Written article | Fan Yingchun

Fan Yingchun, a native of Lianyungang, Jiangsu, a doctor of literature at Peking University, a doctorate in the National Public Training of East Asia at Harvard University, Dr. Boya, Peking University, is currently a lecturer at the Peking University Literature Institute, and the 10th visiting researcher at the Modern Literature Museum of China.The research direction is criticized by the history of Chinese contemporary literature and writers.For academic works, please refer to the "Chinese Modern Literature Research Series", "Literature and Art Contents", and "Contemporary Writer Reviews". Many papers have been reprinted by the Copy Information of the People’s Congress.Publishing "Utopia of Faith and Love".

As Zheng Zaihuan’s peers, it is difficult to not empathize with many details in his works. It is a collective impression that belongs to rural rural areas in the northern 1990s. It is an exclusive memory of a generation born in the early 1990s.After resigning from the organs and going south, the Chinese parents bravely abandoned the iron rice bowl for the first time, and opened the modern trauma journey of the native family in a way to stay away from the child. The post -90s generation became the first direct player of this trauma.Of course, they are also the first beneficiary of the start and high -speed development of the Chinese market economy. They can enjoy a better material life, have a broader escape space outside their hometown, and become the first batch of aborigines in China.Under Zheng Zaihuan, this group of positive and anti -dual -external generations that were forced to accept the changes of the times grew up, and those days when no one was in charge of wandering in the village became a distant memory.Memory is always slowly accumulated, and when accumulated memory is retrieved again and again with the help of time, "Memories" is born as a noun and verbs in the novel.Suddenly I was surprised, did you start to remember after the 90s so soon?The important problem is that their memories may not be just a community of behavior.

"Holding Holding III" tells the story of the familiar teenager’s growth, with the throbbing and anxiety of youth, and the purity and sincerity of children, but the story finally moves towards the dramatic plot development and unstoppable part ways."Youth is probably all like this." The love of men and women and awkward and embarrassing brothers woven the past of the teenager, and also made the current difficult and wrong.For "I", Zhang Xi once gave "I "’s initial friendship enlightenment, and also carefully took care of the fragile self -esteem of" I ".The event is almost all the material and spiritual life of "I", which also directly shaped the "I" until seven or eight years ago.If a definition of "return home view" to the author may be summarized as the popularity of the Chinese youth group in the past two decades, whether you should go home for the New Year, and how to get along with your friends and relatives after you return to your hometown.The concept of value.This concept shows the increasingly splitting of the Chinese society and the father of the father since the new century, and it also reflects the spirit and emotional structure of a generation.For example, the "me" of "me" hates the bad winter conditions of parents and the family in the family, but because of the friendship of his youth, he feels that when he returns to his hometown in the New Year, he has the joy of "childhood old friends meet each other, and the world is countless."This is a generation of the pain of healing affection and the differences between urban and rural differences with the beauty of friendship.However, the concept of being able to take the son to the hometown of this residue finally began to disintegrate.Ironically, the disintegent is exactly the constructor.In the past, my childhood friends met, and they were still eating cards, drinking and singing, but never had the chicness that had been eliminated by the father, but because a secret was to accept the relatively silent embarrassment in the night of the village entrance.The young partner who once gave birthday gifts to "I" and bought popsicles for "I" became a middle -aged man who smoked relative to "I" and stepped into my moral dilemma step by step.The warmth throughout the teenager became ice all night, and the sense of measurement with Zhang Xi from childhood finally came to the edge of the collapse.Is the left -behind generation who has been forbearing to grow up in the vocabulary, is it given time by time by time to be the righteousness of their own justice?

Zheng Zaihuan was born in Zhumadian, Henan in 1990.Published novel works such as "Ninning Night Sanctuary", "Reunion always in the discrete", "Sad Story of Zhumadian" and other novels.

The three sisters of the Wang family who once brought colorful villages and left -behind life, their brief "returning" disrupted the spring water, and even a few teenagers.In the end, the most inconspicuous third sister, the girl with the name of the two sisters stayed in the life of the teenagers.At the end of the novel, "Ping’er" on the screen of Zhang Xi’s mobile phone is today’s "Wang Liping" or the former "Wang Ping"?Zhang Xi is defending today’s marriage daily, and it may be the old dream that passes away.However, in the ins and outs of the whole thing, Zhang Xi is innocent, and "I" has no, and even Xiaolong and Wang Liping. How can we know all the truth of their relationship?"I" can’t find anyone who can disintegrate the responsibility of "return home" for "me".Perhaps this is also a metaphor for a generation. No one can be responsible for their loneliness and injuries, and it is difficult for them to clearly describe the loneliness and injury.For the "I" that no one can blame and have no dreams can be defended, all that can be done is to find more hypocritical and specific excuses:

"Walking on the frozen mud, I felt cold again, and I didn’t like to go home again, I hope it is just because of losing."

For the first time 7 or eight years ago, I did n’t want to go home for the first time. I have the anger and dissatisfaction of the teenager, and there is also the guilt that I ca n’t be honest with my friends in the past. Now, I lose the card again after the reunion.And the feelings and nostalgia of the teenager’s years that can no longer be said.The so -called "friendship", which supports the "friendship" that supports all sensitive teenagers’ growth time., Devouring its body, deconstructing its foundation.The secret that caused the gap may know that both sides know, and they also know that the other party knows, and even knows that the other party knows that he knows, but he must not be declared to the mouth.abyss.Rather than the maturity of a generation, it is better to be the "old" of a generation.This kind of old is not marked by the birth of "memories", but the opportunity to transform the nature of "memories".The sea is wide, but it is necessary to carefully encapsulate into your mind and the bottom of your heart, and quietly reflect on the tacit understanding and decentness, and the painful pain.

Yes, it was the post -90s after the 90s began to recall. It was the turn of the generation of the republic’s social and economic development that secretly grew up.It was their turn to shout that the "fear and love" that had not been expressed for many years.

Attach "Holding Holding III" novel festival, the full text was published in "Beijing Literature", No. 6, 2023:

About seven or eight years ago, I also liked to go home for the New Year.In fact, I don’t like to go home nor the New Year, but I like to go home for the New Year.I don’t like going home because the conditions at home are too bad. There is no hot water or heating.In our winter home, almost everyone was shaking their legs, stomping, and shaking, and there were people who had to rub their hands from three or five.In order to get some calories on the body, I was always moving, and I was still moving. It was very tired in one day.Speaking of which I want to play a homophonic stalk, no wonder labor is called labor, but it is not old.This is the embarrassing Central Plains.Probably the ancestors were deceived by this feeling, or wanted to deceive this feeling, thinking that we could mix it in the past, which caused us to move now.As old as workers, they can avoid cold and heat, but this is bitter.I started back to back pain in a few days when I went home, and gradually became dirty. I missed hot water extremely, and I didn’t want to wash my hands with cold water.Because my hand was afraid of cold, I always inserted into my pocket, and frequently attracted dust. The dust was hidden in the nails, and the nails were dirty, so I dare not dig the nostrils easily, so my nose was dirty.It seems that when I was a child, I was obviously mixed with Beijing as a civilized person, so I understand why I don’t like going home in winter.But the New Year is always in winter. Of course, not only because of winter, the most important thing is parents.As we all know, Chinese parents like to kill their children the most, and they finally returned home. I wanted to be a delicate flower on the palm of the palm for a few days.What they are best at is to hold us with people to paint. Who do you say that the last injury will be? The rhyme is too much, it is not serious, and the story is too velocity.It is a hawker on the street (converted to the currently the anchors who want to throw charm in the webcast room).So I still say honestly, I should also make it clear, why don’t you like the New Year and go home.

But seven or eight years ago, I also liked to go home for the New Year.At that time, there were winter, and there were parents at that time. This was the tenacious truth of the world, and no one could escape.At that time, I liked it again. When my childhood friends met, they met countless in the world.We finally grew up, not too big. When we got home, it was easy to play together as a child. The difference was that we finally earned money.The project that spends money seems to be unchanged in ancient times. Only we are new for eating and playing cards, drinking and singing. We can finally do it like our father.These hateful pastime are mastered by our parents for a long time. We can only watch it. They drunk the roadside. They patted their tables and scolded their mothers. They lost a lot of money and they lost.We can only shrink in our mother’s arms.We blame us too young, so small as a mouse that can’t be seen, we can only hide ourselves. I don’t know if the mouse grows up and dare to go to the street. Anyway, when we grow up, we are all us on the street.

The New Year’s Eve Scenery of Zhumadian, Henan (Zheng Zaihuan/Photo)

I forgot which year in seven or eight years ago, when I went home, something happened. I have not been able to forget it for so many years. I will come out every time the Spring Festival is approaching, reminding me of the smoky year to come back.This is why I don’t want to go home. I can’t stand the smoke.In the room where I played cards late at night, I suddenly felt cold, and I was cold until my thigh roots. The smoke in the room made me cry. The banknotes on the table made me sad. The air was full of noodles in the air, and every call was like a beast roar.I suddenly was afraid and disgusted, and I didn’t like going home since then.Of course, there is nothing to drag me home. We are slow to get older, get married, and children can go to school.After carrying responsibility, it is not so happy to play, or it is no longer playing for playing, the money on the table becomes more important, and people are even more embarrassing.I don’t want to play with them.I rarely miss people.I can’t find the motivation to go home.But the year is near, and it is inevitable to think about going home. Think about the determination to forget but return on time. After thinking about it for a few days, someone pulled me into a group. There were more than 20 people in the group.Talking with his mouth, he was happy.I was just habitually dealing with it, but as I was enthusiastic, I still wanted to go home.Of course, I had to go home. In this year I can return, this group chat has made me more yearn for me.

Li Yuan:@李 李, right do you know me?

Haochuang Technology: It’s very lively.

Ma Feng: I don’t know.

Li Yuan: All are waiting to go back to gather.

Me: It’s too lively.

Me: Back this year!

Haochuang Technology: Wait a few days and go back.

Li Yuan: Come back.

Me: Miss you.

Haochuang Technology: Did you go back?

Li Yuan: @Huanny is back this year?

I returned.

Dadi: @Huanny, how do you return?Take a ride.

Me: High Speed Rail, No. 15.

Dadi: 17th (nose expression).

Me: Too late.

Me: Early.

Li Yuan: Yes.

Li Yuan: Early.

Dadi: Do not delay to win your money (laughing and crying).

Li Yuan: When will @Huanny come back?

Me: No. 15.

Li Yuan: Is it a sword Feng?

Li Yuan: Okay.

Li Yuan: Then come to my house.

Me: Hmm.

Dadi: Half -day leisure is Jianfeng.

Li Yuan: Oh, isn’t it fat?

Dadi: Um.

Li Yuan: He seems to be here in Zhengzhou.

Ma Feng: Do you have to go home this year?

Li Yuan: When I go home, I come to my house and come to drink.

Li Yuan:@李 李 should be able to go back.

Ma Feng: I also want to go back to the New Year. I just came out for more than a month (covering her face and crying expression).

Li Yuan: Well, have money and no money to go home for the New Year.

Li Yuan: Connect Changle.

Li Yuan:@李 李 Are you going to Dubai again?

Li Yuan: Is Ma Yue home for the New Year?

Half -day leisure: (a train seat back photo)

Half -day leisure: On the way home.

I am Lei Feng: I do n’t go back in the New Year.

Ma Feng: Not in Dubai, in Africa.

I am Lei Feng: Jianfeng also worked as a work in a foreign country to go home for the New Year.

Li Yuan:@李 李 李 How lively, come back.

Li Yuan:@李 李 李 李 tomorrow?

I am Lei Feng: It’s too cold, I usually go back everywhere.

Half -day leisure: go to the train immediately at night.

Me:@我 我 back.

Li Yuan: I went back in these two days and came together.

Contentive Changle: (bathroom locker photo)

Contentful Changle: Bathing (laughing at expression).

Ma Feng: I can try to take three days off and go back for a year.

Li Yuan: Come back and come back. If you have money and no money to go home for the New Year.

Li Yuan:@李 李 李 李 李 李 李 You don’t come out to talk.

On the way: Fireworks should not care this year.

I filmed "on the road".

On the way: When will @Huanny go back?

Me: On the 15th, is the fireworks in the countryside still control?

Ma Chao: Guan, now the firecrackers are not allowed to sell.

On the way: Go to the Waidian to buy it.

Me: Cleanly.

Ma Chao: There are many things in the countryside.

Li Yuan: No one cares about the New Year.

Li Yuan: Everyone put it, so I can’t care.

On the way: @Huanny Waidian is not far away, come back and take you.

Me: I mean not letting the fireworks nonsense, the countryside.

Ma Chao: The countryside is also environmentally friendly.

On the way: I do n’t let it go, but I ca n’t control it. There are too many people.

On the way: There are a lot of people in the square on New Year’s Day, and they can’t control it.

On the way:@在 在 在 在 在 This year?

"Huanny" invited "Ma Hong" to join the group chat.

Dadi:@大 大 大.

Dadi: Where is@小 哪 儿?

Li Yuan:@李 李 李 back!lively.

I am Lei Feng: I will return next year, and this year’s warehouse will not be opened.

Li Yuan:@李 李 李 李.

Li Yuan: What about Jianwei?

Dadi: Here, he doesn’t speak.

Dadi: Bride, shy.

Li Yuan: Okay.

Li Yuan: No matter what happened.

Li Yuan: I have money and no money to go home for the New Year. I just have no money.

Li Yuan: Why didn’t you move?

Li Yuan: Chat.

Me: This group is well built.

Me: Get together every year.

Me: It’s okay to gather in three years.

Li Yuan: Well, just get together.

More than twenty people in the group are men, all of them are almost the same age.Our villages are big, and there are many peers. When we were young, I played partitions.Qianzhuang, Houzhuang, west, east.My position should be Qianzhuang. It is for Houzhuang. In fact, it is not very ahead, for the typical Qianzhuang.I am not west of the east, and I am not the east to the west. I have been in such an embarrassing middle area since I was a child, but we did not have the claim of Zhongzhuang.Zhuang is not a country, so you don’t need to emphasize it.Maybe we have named us in the east head of Qianzhuang, and I have never thought about it.Only the talented people will call me Qianzhuang. Most of the time I define the position of others, so I don’t know what I am.I live in the center and usually only play with the children in the center.After being older, the scope of the activity is also larger before starting to play with people elsewhere.No matter how old, when Zhuangzi couldn’t pretend to be us, we went to the street.At that time, the location was no longer important.Everyone now has a mobile phone. The people in the mobile phone are Tiannanhai and the north. Only when they return home can we restore the original position.People are messy in their mobile phones, maybe it is necessary to briefly introduce the main points.

Li Yuan: My brother, I have been in Zhengzhou over the years, I don’t know what to do.His wife is from Yunnan. He has left and has a daughter. He should be twelve or three years old.

Ma Feng: I was young, I used to sell my mobile phone in Dubai before, and now I don’t know what to do.

Ma Chao: I am young, open an online shop, and the business is doing well.

I am Lei Feng: My real name is Ma Yue, who opened an online shop, and the business did a lot. From the car he drove, it can be seen that a Maserati.

Dadi: Refining Wang Bing, Houzhuang, a security guard in the Beijing CPPCC.

Half -day leisure: named Zhang Jianfeng, who opened an online shop, followed Ma Yue.

On the road: My real name Zhang Xi, I sent a small, I sold my mobile phone in the street before, and later followed Ma Yuekai’s online shop.He is the east, most of the surnames Zhang and the back of the village, most of the surnames of Qianzhuang and Xitou, our surname is Li in the middle, embarrassing and passive.Wang Bing is an exception. He is one of the few surnames. Although our village is called Da Wangzhuang.

What I think of is Zhang Xi.Zhang Xi and I are not in the same one. It is not familiar to grades in the fifth and sixth grades. There are no people in rural primary schools to grade in the fifth and sixth grades.At the beginning of the fifth grade, our friendship entered the honeymoon period.My best playmate was Ma Chao and Ma Hong before. Later, Ma Chao went to the county to go to the county. Ma Hong went to work because of a big big friend. I lost two close friends at once. I was lost and Zhang Xi came.Zhang Xi is a cadre family. His father collects electricity. His grandfather is a rare literati in the country.The middle hall of the Zhang Xi’s family came from his handwriting. The tiger was drawn down the mountain. The tiger and the green mountains were painted with white walls. It was extremely spectacular. There was a couplet. I forgot the content.When I played Zhang Xi’s house, I always stared at the tiger, and felt that the two tigers could not really exist on which mountains.The middle hall of Zhang Xi’s uncle’s house was also painted by grandpa, and he was also tigers. There were mountain tigers and mountain tigers, one and two.I know that there are many tigers down the mountain, but Grandpa Zhang Xi will draw two, why don’t you know?I always stared at the one on the left. I felt that the one on the left was me, because Zhang Xi was always sitting on the right.

The first thing Zhang Xi was familiar with me was that he concealed a few good classmates who organized me to buy a birthday gift for me. Each person gave me a hanging painting. The painting was a cartoon villain and a bright one.Scenic, another two beautiful sentences.I received the gift for the first time, and for the first time, I felt inspirational and injury: Shu Shan has Lu Qin as a trail, and learn the sea without the end of the sea;The brief dream, when you wake up it, it is no trace; youth is wind, there is no fixed shape … The neat sentences are written on the exquisite printing paintings.We just grew into a teenager, and just exposed to youth, and those slightly lively proverbs made me fell in love with the feeling of sadness.Zhang Xi was for me, but it made me sad. One painted two pieces of five cents. It was not a decimal to me. They said that they would buy it. They just bought it for me. There was a rich girl.The huge amount of money bought a eight -tone box.That day, I was sitting in a room without the lights and listening to the Telis in the eight sound box. Looking at the words on the painting, I hurt my heart severely, for my poverty and inferiority, for my narrowness and ignorance, my narrowness and ignorance.It is also for the music and the characters in the box.There are two men and three women who send gifts. They will become my friend, but I am still sad. I am sad that Zhang Xi can think of the trend of giving gifts. It is sad that they are happy when they hide from me.This time I knew things like hanging paintings and music boxes, sadness in the beauty of music and the sorrow of words, sad, covering my pride.

Then we became familiar, shouted together to go to school, waiting for school to return together, traveling on the streets on Sunday, chasing and making trouble in the field, passing paper in the class, writing some silly person who loves you, who loves you,talk.I went to his house, watching TV on the mat, lying on the table in the living room, and staring at the tiger on the left.His father resigned from the work of electrician and took his mother to make money south. He lived alone, and his family was very free, but rarely greeted others.He only played with me.Later, my stepmother also went to Guangzhou, and only my brother and me left at home. Zhang Xi insisted on going to sleep with me.The two of us squeezed on that single -person bamboo bed and talked until midnight before going to bed.The next day, he told someone everywhere that my bed was hard like a brick, with pity and disappointment.I know he is upset for me, but I am still sad. I have become the object of sympathy for the usual life. I preach my pain without asking me.I want to say that I am not suffering, or I don’t want to say my suffering.After Zhang Xi’s propaganda, everyone knows that it was only known to the villagers before. Now that it has expanded to the school, I am embarrassed to recruit cats to tease their classmates. A person who is sympathetic is not qualified to naughty.I was a bit angry, and he destroyed my naughty.

But we are getting better and better.In the sixth grade, we have taken another step in our understanding of youth, began to try to dress ourselves, and upgrade like love into love on the note.I stayed with long hair and urgently needed gel water. Zhang Xi’s family had it, and it saved my life.Zhang Xi’s hair did not stay for a long time, but when he grew taller than me. When we were obsessed with long hair, he had cut a sharp hair. The gel was beaten, his hair stood up, like sea urchin.Of course, we don’t know what sea urchin is. We said that it was a hairy egg head, but Zhang Xi’s head was not a hair egg, but a sea urchin, which was a high -end that we didn’t know.His father might have received gold in the south, and his pocket money suddenly increased. When he was playing outside, he would buy popsicles and soda.He may feel that every time I buy two popsicles and two bottles of soda, he will twist and give me five cents, so I can also buy a popsicle, he has a cleanliness, so I can’t drink with himBottle soda.I can understand his twist. He is embarrassed for me. This kind of giving is similar to me, and it was obviously that he was playing with me.I also think this is Shijia, but I still want it.I know that things have changed. I used to rely on the teacher’s relying on the dependence of the teacher and the status of the squad leader, and to ask the girl’s love. Now this is not the case. Now Qian and Shuai have taken advantage of the upper hand.I worshiped the wind, but I still retained the afterglow of a thin camel. We are still friends, and even true feelings. Although this true feelings make him lose five cents every time he goes out.

In the sixth grade, there was a major event in the school. Three fashionable girls fell from the sky and cracked our ancient land.They are three sisters, returned from Xinjiang, our village, from Houzhuang, and there are few surnamed Wang in Houzhuang.They came back from Urumqi, which we heard only in the weather forecast, and wearing a lot of exotic customs and great worlds, and ruthlessly crushed the soil that knotted the board on us.Through them, I knew that many of our villages had the surnamed Wang in Xinjiang to contract cottonland, plant grapes, be soldiers or sell local specialties.This may be the reason for Wang Shao. They went to the greater world and gave us the not big Wangzhuang.Now the Rong returning to the old name of Wang, although there is only one, but already has the original ability to clear the source.The male owner of this family is called the king, and the hostess has no one mentioned. It is said that it was because the hostess died that the sad king gave up the vast Xinjiang and returned to her hometown with three daughters.The biggest one of the three girls is Wang Li, and it is also recognized as the most beautiful. We have already attended middle school and we have little contact.The second name is Wang Ping, in fact, it is also beautiful, but the elderly don’t think so, because her face and eyes are not big enough, Wang Ping is in the sixth grade and came to our class. This is where we think things are big enough.The breath and the style of the foreign country make us look down.The third is Wang Liping, the most beautiful one. She is still young, in the third grade, and her behavior is like a little boy, so no one takes her seriously.Wang Liping always sticks to Wang Ping’s buttocks like dog skin plaster. We are still familiar with her, but I feel that she is annoyed. When we start to like Wang Ping, her teeth and dead skin are really troublesome.

During that time, our main topic was them.It is said that Wang Li has been playing crazy in middle school and has begun to make a boyfriend. This is an inspiration. At that time, we were just keen to express love and thought that the expression was over.A relationship.Wang Li’s reputation came in front of us and far beyond our understanding. Soon some people said that she was more than one boyfriend.The fancy rumors are flying all over the sky, letting us start contacting some new things.Later, I was confirmed from Zhang Xi that Wang Li was indeed chased by several people, or Wang Li was inspecting several people. Those love novices may also be confused.EssenceBut the people outside, the outside people said yes.When saying this, Zhang Xi was giving us below. His noodles were delicious. Use soy sauce and shrimp skin to make soup, put green vegetables and fried shredded pork.Except for him, I haven’t eaten this noodles, fresh and fragrant.He said he learned from a TV series, and the southerners ate this way.In the past few years, he has lived alone, with sufficient living expenses and pocket money, and has also practiced a good cooking skills.The soy sauce he used was glass bottle. Before that, I had seen pesticides and wine in the glass bottle.I asked him how to know these. He said that he knew one of the suitors. I also knew that person. It was called Xiaolong. It was a former primary school overlord. Later, he rose to middle school. It was also overlord.Strive.Xiaolong hit me, he must have forgotten that when I was in my third grade, he was fifth.One day I was playing with glass balls on the ground, and I stepped on a sandbag. When I opened my mouth, I opened my mouth and started to sweat.Of course, Xiaolong will not let me go. I kicked me a few feet in the eyes.At that time, I was already the monitor, and there must be some face problems. Of course, it was not worth mentioning in Xiaolong’s eyes.For this reason, I have always remembered him and stayed away.Zhang Xi’s knowledge is definitely not the same thing. He played well with Xiaolong, after all, he also needed to eat.Xiaolong’s house opened the restaurant and opened the side of the road to solve the problem of boarding and accommodation of the road driver.Zhang Xi was too lazy to cook and rode a bike to eat in the hotel in Xiaolong’s house.Zhang Xi knew that Xiaolong had hit me, but his friendship with Xiaolong couldn’t hide it anymore, and he didn’t care. After all, Xiaolong was a well -known school overlord, and I was just a good student who became more and more worthless.I also think he should be good with Xiaolong, so that I really know Xiaolong to be only one person.He was somewhat surprised and emotionally said, Li Qing, we will always be good friends and will not change.I was also emotional, I only ate a bowl of noodles that day.

I met Xiaolong as expected, in the evening of a month.In the countryside without street lights, we can only wait for the moon to play when we come up. The more the moon is, the more children come out.After dinner, we sang the song to call the friends and cited his companion. That song was singing like this: when you come and play, there is a large flower bed in front of the door. I kicked the flower bed.The jar leaked.Why do n’t you know so much, maybe it ’s just a boring code for children. Singing this song Manzhuangzi, all those who can come out will come out.Seeing that there was no one in the era of Xiaolong, we had a recorder and put it on the waist: who turned the moon into a full moon.Listening to such songs, they have become more fashionable when walking.Xiaolong is on the street. He brought a few people to meet us at the bridge head of the village entrance. He held a Motorola flipping his mobile phone in his hand and placed Jay Chou’s "My Scene", which was more fashionable than us.Zhang Xi introduced me, Li Qing, my best friend.Xiaolong whispered, asked Zhang Xi, how about it, did you agree?Zhang Xi shook his head, and Xiaolong began to send text messages with his mobile phone.That day we listened to the "My Step" on the bridge over and over, and finally everyone spoke.The moon is getting brighter and we are anxious to go home.Xiaolong scolded and scolded the phone, and was irritable. In the end, he let Jay Chou closed his mouth, inserted his mobile phone into his pocket, forget it, and went directly to her.Zhang Xi couldn’t persuade him, and we and his party followed, and we didn’t know why.

In front of the most beautiful house in the village, we stopped, and everyone became sneaky.This house is too new, and it is new than all the things and things. We stand in front of such a new building under the bright moonlight.Xiaolong called the last call that no one answered and began to call Wang Li’s name.He shouted one after another, and the courtyard lit the lights, as shocked by him.The king opened the door and we were scared.Xiaolong remained motionless.We saw that the king had no movement and came forward timidly.The king asked Xiaolong to roll, and Xiaolong asked Wang Li to come out.For the first time, I saw a teenager who talked to an adult like this, and he was not afraid of color.The king asked Xiaolong Wang Li, and Xiaolong said that Wang Li lied to him.The king asked him what he cheated, Xiaolong couldn’t say it, and then went back and said that you let Wang Li come out.The two said a few laps of cars. Wang Liping poked his head from the gate, shot it with a mine lamp, and put the dragon frame in the aperture.Her clever teeth came in handy and questioned why Xiaolong did not ask for it, why did she be begging Bai Lai, why is it polite, and why is Wang Li entangled with Wang Li?Xiaolong stood in the light column, put down the hand that blocked his eyes, and answered the bright light one by one.The last sentence is: because of love.He almost shouted, maybe he shouted for Wang Li.Wang Liping asked in the darkness behind the light and asked again: What is love, do you know what love is?Xiaolong said that love is that I want to be with her. Love is that I want to marry her. Love means that she always wants her to miss her all the time.We felt a little irritating in the moonlight.Zhang Xi dragged Xiaolong and said, let’s go.Xiaolong ignored and continued to call Wang Li’s name.The sound came from in the yard was Wang Liping, and she shouted with force: if it was true love, fly in!Xiaolong started climbing the highest wall in the village. I remember that there were glass pupa on the wall.The wall was too light, and the dragon couldn’t climb up, so he called his men.Those who desperately died just gave him half of the sky, and he called us again.We ran over, and raised him up with seven hands.Someone kept falling, someone screamed, and someone stepped on others.The light in the courtyard with the light of the mine lamp seems to be the evil of light.There are too many people, people are crowded, but people cannot pick up others, but they just squeeze them in vain.Everyone was exhausted, and the mourning on the ground.Xiaolong fell for the last time and stabilized himself and thought about it.He found some short squatting underneath, and he looked at it to climb it to it. He stood at the top trembling.I am on the edge of the second layer. Xiaolong did not step on me directly. I may just support my shoulders when I stand up. It has made me very excited.We stood up slowly, the dragon lifted off slowly, and his face was frame by the light of the mine.Inside, you really fly.Xiaolong didn’t speak, and picked up the wall inward, and the broken glass made him scream.He took off his jacket and climbed down.It is said, you really fly, you have bleeding, don’t you hurt?Xiaolong said, isn’t you let me fly, I will fly to you.Inside, let you fly, you fly, are you stupid?Xiaolong said, what’s going on, who are you stupid, who are you?We were a little unable to hold on. Although he didn’t step on me, I still smelled danger.The king came out, and he rushed to the iron puppet, scaring us in a split.Xiaolong fell off, and I smelled the bloody smell.We rushed around without head flies. The last movement in the memory came from the wall. The annoying voice was still shouting: I am Wang Liping!

The dusk of Zhumadian, Henan (Zheng Zaihuan/Photo)

Xiaolong did not catch up with Wang Li in the end, and Zhang Xi chased Wang Ping.Wang Li only stayed in school for a year, and dropped out of school the next year to Xinjiang.Xiaolong was really sad for a while before he stared at other girls.After Wang Li left, Wang Ping became the most dazzling one. It is reasonable to say that Zhang Xi is not round, but Zhang Xi has a dragon.Probably because of Wang Li, or because Zhang Xi, Xiaolong did not dye Wang Ping, but took care of her.Under the blessing of Xiaolong, Zhang Xi chased and went well because no one grabbed him.Of course, Wang Ping is a sought -after. It is Wang Ping’s popularity that made me understand Wang Li’s popularity and the weakness and madness of Xiaolong as a generation of overlords.I dreamed of her, and the small limbs of that year were offending a certain morning, and I suddenly understood a lot and doubled it.I know that I am out of the situation. When I enter middle school, my study is even more valuable, and I lose even learning.I have become a gangster at the end of Ganju. The only purpose is to rely on composition to help people write love letters.Zhang Xi is a bit proud. After all, he was born in Shuxiang Men. He would not let me help. Instead, he listened to the written thoughts and let me modify it with him.In this way, he will not have the feeling of writing.I know his sensitivity. In order to keep his intimacy, I can only help him and not let him feel that I am helping, of course, let alone feel my eyes and heartache.I did a good job. This is the most proud thing for the whole student’s career. On sensational, no one is compared with me.Sometimes just changed a few sentences, Zhang Xi read the crying cavity. While he had not felt my credit, he quickly praised his affection. Only by setting all emotions on him can he prevent him from releasing sensitivity.I will cry with him, and it is impossible for him to distinguish which crying.Many puberty nights, we just made love letters after another, he also soaked me a bag of noodles. Unfortunately, all of them were soaked in soup.Seeing that this trick was not spiritual, Zhang Xi embarked on Xiaolong’s old road, and he went to Wang Ping’s door to shake.I have been there several times, and I was fortunate to listen to Xiaolong’s high opinions: if you want to chase, you will chase the light and chase, and the more difficult to chase, the more you like to be chased. Someone chasing them is proud, do you know?Of course, the premise is that you have to have the capital that makes them proud, put on your most fashionable clothes, bring your most face -to -face buddies, and shake in front of her door every day, and do not believe that she is not exciting.Probably the doctor was in a hurry, Zhang Xi adopted Xiaolong’s suggestion and ignored his failure.During that time, under the leadership of Zhang Xi, we all became fashionable.I only have a set of barely followed everyone’s jeans gowns, and soon washed off, and I was not very embarrassed to follow.Fortunately, I dropped out of school in time. The day before working to work, I went to the last time.On that day, Wang Ping did not show his face. Wang Liping was still in front of the door. She grew up, not so much like a boy, and even had some beautiful signs, but it was difficult to fight when she spoken. She said, chasing, dogs, dogs, dogsDo you know if you are a rabbit?She is going to Xinjiang, do you still chase?

Not only Zhang Xi, we are all sad.I left the next day. Two months later, Wang Ping went to Xinjiang, and Zhang Xi after half a year later. He went to Guangzhou.As soon as we grew up, we were separated by speed. Once separated, we became a completely different person.Zhang Xi has become a electrician in Guangzhou; Xiaolong has been the driver of Beijing; Wang Ping sells raisins in Xinjiang; Wang Li has married and is the owner of the vineyard; I keep a greasy machine in the workshop in Hebei, and build a greasy machine every day to build a greasy machine and build it.There are a few uniform products.If you want to see you again, you can only wait for the New Year. Xinjiang is too far away, and Wang Li and Wang Ping do not come back easily.Wang Liping was still at home, and their father vowed to never return to that sadness, although his daughter went there as soon as he grew up.The New Year’s Day is really short, and it is enough to talk about the transformation of the past year. We are changing almost every year. From Guangzhou to Shenzhen, from Hebei to Jiangnan, from electrician to shop assistants, from factory workers to door guards, we have changed.It’s too fast.From the landmark to the identity to the value, there is no money to the money, there is no money, from a home to no one to a house, we are used to changes.Migratory birds must be migrated to survive, and so is we.It is said that no migratory bird will fly straight. We don’t just fly straight, but we don’t even care about the seasons and directions. We are just flying.The only change that surprised me was Zhang Xi’s wedding. His bride was not Wang Ping, but Wang Liping.

But we have changed, and we are used to changes and have mastered the size.I have never asked whether Zhang Xi has caught up with Wang Ping, how can I catch up with Wang Liping?They get married, I participate, this is my duty.

At the wedding, I chased Zhang Xi into the room without anyone and stuffed him 500 yuan.He was still so sensitive, and he accepted it once. This degree was just right, and at the same time conveyed politeness and disappearance.When I said, I went to drink outside.It was the first time to attend a good friend’s wedding. I am very happy, and the whole wedding is very happy.Wang Liping wore a western -style wedding dress and followed Zhang Xi to toasting in the yard. The yard was too dirty and she was too white.I remembered the moon that night. That day, she was holding a dazzling mine lamp that day. The picture in my mind was almost sad.It turns out that the memory can really be tampered with. I watched her walk in front of me tampering her past. Her face was no more boyish on her face. She was a full woman. She could afford the beautiful word like her sisters.Because she never saw her sister again, she became the biggest in my eyes.Her beauty also lost her reference. How to compare with the two seventeen -year -old girls in the wedding dress, it is difficult to compare her to the 14 -year -old fake boy.She turned into a newcomer like a fake on her wedding.Our table was all young people. Seeing her and Zhang Xi, everyone joked lightly, but none of them mentioned Wang Ping, or Wang Li, as if they were just old shadows, and had been returned to the body by the fresh Wang Liping.There is an old man on our table, which is extremely dazzling and shadow -Xiaolong.His mouth is cheap, but he has chased Wang Li, but he didn’t mention it.He was placed on the key of the Audi car at his hand. He had upgraded from the driver to the owner and had his own sandy field.I heard that he was married, and his wife was the daughter of a leader in the town.He sat here, earned his face to the wedding, and confirmed his high argument in the air: that is, to be bright and upright, you have to open up.In the sound of the noisy gongs and drums, the whole table was quiet, and even the gongs and drums were weak.He touched a cup with the newcomer and said, I am a matchmaker, you drink at least three cups.At that moment, I was a little stunned. I do n’t know if the bride in front of me was Wang Liping or Wang Ping, or Wang Ping changed to Wang Liping, or Wang Liping was Wang Ping from the beginning … At the same time, I also felt Zhang Xi ’s sensitivity,He cherished for a while.Wang Liping had finished drinking and waited for him with a smile.Three cups, he drank very slowly, his sensitivity could not be allowed to be slow.During this period, I always avoided his eyes with him. I also knew that he would never look at me. I put my eyes on Wang Liping with confidence. I still wanted to recognize her.

After the marriage, Zhang Xi and Xiaolong opened a mobile phone store on the street called "Longteng Communication".Zhang Xi has worked in Huaqiang in Shenzhen. Such a person returning to the town to sell mobile phones is tantamount to Ma Yun stayed back to dry Taobao, not to mention he caught up with the wind.In those two years, almost a mobile phone, the children gathered together to play with sandbags and glass balls, but on the screen with bright crystals.At the beginning, everyone was joking, saying why the two people only wrote one person’s name on the signboard?Zhang Xi always laughed at himself, who told our name not to be loud enough.Some culture will continue to open the joke. How can it be called "Kangxi Communication" is not even better.Once Zhang Xi was annoyed, Ni force your mother, what age is Kangxi, have he used his mobile phone?Zhang Xi didn’t scold him much. At that time, he used Xiaolong’s tone, and the effect was very good. The other party closed his mouth immediately.Zhang Xi, who scolded people, blushed. He always paid attention to civilization, after all, he was born in Shuxiangmen.I don’t know if he was ashamed of scolding or ashamed to use Xiaolong, and I never asked how he and Xiaolong were partnership. Did Xiaolong pay for money or only provided protection.There are always Xiaolong family industries on the street. From the earliest Longfeng Bathing Ponds and Tianlong Restaurant, to the Longxiang Sand and Dragon Internet Cafe operated by Xiaolong, it is now Longteng Communication, bringing dragon, just on this street, justmake.The dragon in the mobile phone shop under Zhang Xi quickly covered other dragons, and no one was a wage earner anymore.I went back two years later, and Zhang Xi had a bunch of car keys.

At that time, there were not many cars in the countryside. As a result, they were particularly rare. One or two friends with cars seemed to have both face and way, second only to the informal of the car.Our group of us went out to play, and there were people who took the car and had motorcycles. I had been sitting in the car, which made me more noodles.In the eyes of everyone, I am still Zhang Xi’s friend, although he is a friend of Xiaolong in my eyes.One year I returned to Beijing, and he drove me to the high -speed rail station for two hours.We talked a lot along the way, and I thought a lot.Li Qing, we will always be good friends and will not change.Thinking of this sentence, my mouth was made in his noodles.Of course, I often do this kind of noodles. After I can afford the soy sauce of glass bottles, at that moment, I know that my mouth was touching his noodles, which was the original taste.In my heart, I silently returned him to the best friend, and I felt that it seemed that I hadn’t changed nothing. I felt that my heart was just changing.After getting out of the car, I twisted two packs of cigarettes and said politely, worked hard, and smoked on the way back.He only resigned once and accepted it.I walked into the station with my luggage, and it was really sad. It seemed that I still changed, at least I changed.

For the first time, I thought about friendship. From Zhumadian to Beijing, I thought about more than 1,500 miles.After getting off the bus, I admitted my sensitivity.I decided to reduce my sensitivity, and I never follow the sensitivity of others. If someone forced my friends to drink again, I would look at it firmly and let my friends see understanding and support, rather than laughing and laughing at all.gloat.If someone helps me to write a love letter, I will spare no effort to write, and take out the energy of my novels. Even if I am refunded, I don’t have to be appreciated.Yu I used to treat myself, why can’t I treat my friends?

Too capable.

Then it happened seven or eight years ago when I went home the next year.At a hotel at 1 am, I saw Wang Liping out of Xiaolong’s room. I returned to my house, threw a bag of betel nut on the Mahjong table, and paralyzed the chair.The three people waiting for the betel nut into their mouths, each with a cigarette, the air was full of disgusting sweet and sweet taste, and I chewed one. My heart was as uncomfortable as burning.Ma Hong sprayed the flue gas mixed with flavors to urge me to catch the card. I almost vomited.I vomited betel nut and vomited a sweet and sweet black water.They stared at incredible eyes and asked why.I’m tired.They fought the landlords while they were happy, and quickly and interesting.I want to go home, but I have to wait for their car.I sent a message to Zhang Xi on the bed and asked him where he was.When the reply was empty, I let myself go through the thing just now. When I saw Wang Liping, I thought I would see Zhang Xi followed. I smiled and greeted it. The joke was slipped to my mouth.EssenceAlthough I haven’t talked to him much, I am too familiar with this inch. He has been such a short hair since he was a child. At that time, we also called this labor to change the head. Later, we learned that this was also a fashion.Although I have been growing up for a long time, I still have a little condition to reflect this round inch. Fortunately, the corridor is long enough, enough for me to open the door.The footsteps were approaching, because I was too panic, I couldn’t be sure whether it was one person or two people, because I was so scared that I didn’t look back to confirm whether the two were the two.

Zhang Xi has never returned the news.He always has a degree. This point should not be sleeping or sleeping. Unlike us, he will go to the county to open a room to play.At that time, the mobile phone store was not very prosperous. Longteng Communication sold a large electrical appliances, and it was still half dead.However, Xiaolong still lives and lives, and there are a few more signs with dragons on the street. Everyone has to convince the layout of the Xiaolong.Zhang Xi was accustomed to the boss’s faction, and he was not able to endure the bleak of business, which made him look a bit awkward.I noticed his sensitivity again. Even if I repeatedly reduced myself, I really wanted to approach him a little, but our sensitivity is always the distance.Now he may have a bad luck. At the same time, I had a trace of closeness and even more disgusting.The sound and smell made by the landlords are endless, and I can’t stay in this room.

I called Zhang Xi in the corridor.He picked it up, with the awakening.I asked him where he was, and he said he was at home.I asked him Wang Liping, he said what you asked her?I said it was okay, so I asked casually.Does he say you have something to do?I said nothing, just eating barbecue in the city, and wanted to ask you if you came.He scolded intimately, I was so addicted, eating barbecue in the middle of the night.I laughed and said, not because you are busy during the day.He also smiled, saying that it was too cold and I didn’t remember, you eat it.After hanging up, I felt good.I rarely call people, let alone call people in the middle of the night. Such a phone call has made me feel the feeling of some old friends. Perhaps it should be less, although I talked because of the right.

The daily life of Zhumadian, Henan (Zheng Zaihuan/Photo)

The next day, I saw Zhang Xi.During the day, he was going to watch the store, and I was also scrambling everywhere. After a few days, I tried to string the door that could be chanted as much as possible.In rural areas, the door is a zero -cost social, which may not be called social, at most it is leisure.As long as there are no more fierce dogs, you can pick a door and walk in and chat.I was not idle at the empty door of the door and the door, and the eve of the night urged me to think: Should I tell Zhang Xi.We are friends, and my friends should help friends, can we tell him to help?I’m not sure, the more I think about it, the more I can’t count.I decided to bypass this issue and just think about telling this fundamental action: sue, inform; complaint, tell.I seem to have nothing to tell about this, so I will only inform.Should a person know a person if you know one thing?I stunned for a day and said a day, it seemed to tell more than informs. Many times I would bypass the inform to tell, and more often, I want to bypass even the complaint, just commented.As a reporter, he asked for a hundred people, and it was attractive to say that secretly poking on the small book, commented in his heart, or wrote a novel.It is definitely not just because I write novels. Everyone seems to be more willing to listen instead of telling, and even less explanations.Only in this way can it be safe, only this is safe.Those doors I string are not the case. Men’s conversation neither inform nor did it tell. Except for a few words of money, it is difficult to make public prosecutions such as the world.What about Shanghai, Guangzhou and Shenzhen, how many oils do you have to add in Guangzhou, how much oil, Beijing, Changsha, Hainan … I don’t like chatting with men.Women will say more, and some are even more endless, but most of them are disguised to show off, or complain, sporadic information is mixed in plenty of emotions, making it easy for listeners to lose.Only when it comes to the gossip of other people, there will be a large amount of information emerging, full of notifications and even preaching, full of complaints and comments, but that is not true, such a statement is almost equivalent to novels.I am a novel. Of course, I understand that the novels are two -coded in life, so I decided not to say it.After dinner, we slowly gathered outside Zhang Xi’s door. In the night, we stood or sat on the cigarettes. The unknown person standing behind the cigarette butt of the cigarette head had to get closer to recognize each other.There is a lamp at the door of Zhang Xi’s house, and a group of children who are wi-fi under the lamp are occupied. We can only stand in the shadow.Looking at these bright children, I have to admit that the world has changed. What we want to play that year and what they are playing now, they are destined to eliminate us like we eliminate their parents.At that time, our stubborn father’s eyebrows were hidden in the night with eyebrows, and the scorched soil of the fame and fortune of the village had no place.We took over here.We arrived one by one, and when we put together a table, the children under the lamp entered the courtyard, and another table went in. There was only me and Zhang Xi left in the shadow.He handed a cigarette from a small bench. I bent over and sat down.As soon as the lighter was on, I saw him, he was still handsome, but his face was covered with acne pits. I had been used to this face long ago, but in the impression, he was still white and translucent when he was a child.When I left, he didn’t have acne, and it was like this again. In just a year or two, Youth completed the cycle on his face.The cigarette was smoked about five or six. No one we spoke, and I regretted that I didn’t follow it.I am not afraid of silence, but I am afraid of the silence between us. I can also talk about it, but when there is only two of us, it is difficult to find the timing of the opening. The more difficult it is, the more difficult it is to speak.This made me discouraged and annoyed, as if I was suppressed by him, as if my sensitivity could not catch his sensitivity, or his sensitivity was always to me.When a cigarette was about to finish, he opened his mouth.

What do you want to get married?

Can’t afford it.

Well, isn’t that?


I can feel that he has nothing to find a word, but what he found still made me feel hot. With his intelligence, he won’t know how annoying these are.Express care.I regret it a little. My answer is too short. The first sentence is still a bit cramped. The second sentence has retreated. In order to keep him, I caught my doubts and fragility.

In fact, it is not a matter of money. It may be that I have n’t prepared yet. How to face a family, how to live after marriage, how to live with a child, I ca n’t imagine it.


Article/Fan Yingchun

School pair/Liu Baoqing

Baby Scale-(24inch)